So I think I'm going to kill my dad. Maybe. But this three years and running denial streak of his is driving me up the fucking wall and I don't know how much more of it I can take.
The whole thing started on Wednesday when this guy asked me out in class and there were a whole bunch of people around, I didn't want to embarass him by turning him down, so I kind of panicked and agreed to go to lunch with him. Which was dumb. But past experience has taught me that coming out to a guy who's just asked you out in a public place is not always the best idea. I think maybe I have a phobia of causing scenes.
Anyway, now I actually have to meet with him and explain the whole thing ("you know, I'm sorry but I can't date you because I don't actually like guys; it's nothing personal, just your gender and personality and the whole male thing"). What a freaking mess.
Somehow Dad heard about it from my sister, though, and asked me about it today. When I sort of took it for granted that he would already know why this wasn't a real date, he played dumb and pretended like the last three years of me being out had never happened.
I really can't take much more of this. He can't keep living in this fantasy world where I'm just going through some kind of "phase" and will magically turn straight one of these days. I'm just going to have to sit him down and force him to deal with it. Which basically means that this weekend could get pretty damn ugly.
Wonderful. If it ends with me trying to hide his body behind Safeway and then ending up on the 11 o'clock news, you'll know why.
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